Friday, July 9, 2010
I know how important it is to do interviews and be part of national media, but it all honesty, it makes me uncomfortable. My stomach churns for hours. Luckily the second it starts, I start to feel less anxious and begin to feel ok, but it's a pretty brutal process.
It's also difficult because I talk about Meghan constantly. It's really really hard and depressing to remember how exhausting it was for Meghan and the incredible struggle she suffered through. These people that I talk to don't know the half of it. I don't know the half of it. When I say Meghan was far stronger than I'll ever be, I mean it. Meghan literally, very literally went through hell and back. Twice. English doesn't have an expression big enough to convey that root strength that comes from something way deeper than most of us will be able to understand in our lifetime.
The effort fueled by nothing other than her will she put in to fighting cancer is purely the stuff of legend. Meghan could have run down a lion if she felt it important. And this is the part that's the heaviest for me. Few completely understood that about her. These interviews don't give me enough chance to make people understand. I'm afraid the interviewers won't get it or they're only curious because of what I'm doing. This isn't about MY story, this is about hers. I don't care in the least about the spotlight. I am not the important one in this. It's all completely, totally, entirely because of what Meghan started two and a half years ago.
Meghan is a hero, she put everything out there for others to read so they might find some comfort, strength or encouragement from her struggle. She was so private and shy. It was hard for her to do that. She didn't let many in, but felt it was important enough to let EVERYONE in on something that isn't easy to see, hear or talk about. She gave the world a great gift and deserves so much in her memory.
Meghan deserves to be talked about forever to show future generations what real, tangible strength, will and heart mean. Talking on camera or radio is hard (especially afterwards), but I know it's necessary and I know I can keep doing it. It's important for Meghan and it's important for others to understand her.
CBC Television Interview about Meghan
Posted by Mae at 9:07 AM